Harvest Stroll

I was on a sunset stroll with my pup tonight.

She had been out for training for what seemed like an eternity, and while she may have pooped in my boat our first time out, she has taken quite fondly to walks off leash.

It was a beautiful night in Bullmoose township and we were walking down our quiet country road. I might have brought a delicious pumpkin ale along with me. After all, it’s pumpkin ale season.

I had done some roof work earlier, and the precarious nature of the roof with the natural imbalance of a “Matthew” had left my nerves a little shaken.

So we walked our quiet dusty road. With a delicious pumpkin ale. Halfway through our walk, I started think’n about all the things I was supposed to be doing on a Monday night.

Rush hour, a trip to the gym, a trip to Home Depot, or some other mundane todo in a place I wasn’t supposed to be.

It was then I realized that I was drinking a 9% beer and while I’m no Walt Whitman, there’s little shame and much room for introspection when the alcohol content is this high.

I know I’m doing what I’m supposed to. Lost to the world on my quiet dusty road in a township named for a long dead president, here for my pup, and she here for me.

In Awe

My son shot a perfect 100.  I’m in awe of him.

For those of you not familiar with American Trap, a single round consists of 5 stations with a competitor shooting five times from each station for a total of 25 shots. The trap thrower is set 16 yards in front of the shooter and oscillates from left to right within a 54 degree arc. The shooter is not aware of the clays trajectory until it is released at speeds up to forty mph and traveling as far as fifty yards.

Sounds simple enough, but let’s add wind, let’s add rain, and for this Minnesota boy, let’s add snow because he has shot in all of it this season. Charlie has been shooting for seven years and during that time he has never seen the same shot in the same place. The variability of this sport is nearly infinite as the snow flakes in a winter storm.  

Adding to the pressure, success is measured by perfection; 4 rounds of 25 with zero misses With all of these challenges stacked against him, my son shot a perfect 100.

None of this came easy.  We started the “Spring” high school season with shovels rather than shotguns to find the field. He finished as top shooter for his team, he competed throughout the summer in the high school Rodeo Trap league and finished as the Minnesota State Champion.  We traveled to Michigan and Wyoming to compete in national events, and while he came up short of his goals, he came back with a drive to improve.  

He shot his first 98 at the local shooting range in August, and followed that with a first place finish in the youth category of a local shooting competition.  His exploits even earned him a spot in the local paper. And tonight, with all of this accomplishment behind him and nothing but possibility before him, my son shot a perfect 100.  

My son will always be perfect to me. Tonight he was perfect for the world, and most importantly, he was perfect for himself.  And so I will continue watching him grow; I will keep his scores, I will cheer his successes, and I will help him learn from his failures. I’m not sure what is next for my son, but I will follow him wherever the wind and the clays may take him.

Pushing North

Pushing North

Pushing ever further north. 

Freeways to highways, highways to county roads, county roads to township roads, township roads to dirt paths, a dirt path to a scratch in the woods and onto the water. So it was, every October weekend for as long as I can remember.

We lived our city lives, all the while growing a deep love for the woods and the water. What was a casual getaway on a weekend, grew into a yearning for something different. A longing for the peace and the serenity of a quieter life.

I saw ducks this morning, I didn’t shoot any of them and that is ok. I was able to be here in this place, and know that my adventures will be spent in the woods or on the water rather than behind a steering wheel chasing back and forth between the man I was and the man I get to be.

A Cart Boy & Cashier

 
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I was a sixteen year old boy, not much older than my son is today. I had been working at our local Menards as a carryout, a fancy way of saying 'cart boy'. My job was simple, bring the carts in from the parking lot, help customers load oversized items, and if working the closing shift, empty the register trash. It was the perfect job for me, at sixteen I did my best to melt into my surroundings rather than being part of them.

I was working the late shift on a nondescript summer Saturday night, what seemed unlimited in those days, now seems so fleeting the older that I get. I had spent most of that particular evening outside, as I did most of the time. With the store closed, I began collecting the trash. Reaching under the register of lane three, I heard something behind me, I turned and found my path blocked and my life forever changed.

I can’t remember what she was wearing, but I do remember her blue apron and her smile. I know there was more, but it was her smile that drew me in. It was infectious. And terrifying. She introduced herself and asked me how old I was, then asked if I wanted to go dancing. I was speechless. And terrified. Cornered in lane 3, it was impossible for me to melt away, it was impossible for me to be anything but hers.

It has been that way for twenty five years now, and today we celebrate 20 years of marriage. Our wedding day was a lot like it is now as I write this…cold, cloudy, with the anticipation of warmer days ahead. Karen and I have literally grown up together and I would not be the man I am without the woman she has become. We have laughed, we have cried, we have lost, and we have won. We love a son who makes us laugh everyday, and we have found the narrative to our story deep in the woods of Minnesota. I can’t imagine our life being any different, and I am so excited for the next twenty years and more.

Old Model 37

 
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My grandfather was a spiteful, bitter old man. Not the kind of man that you would call Grandpa, certainly not the kind of man that you could ever love. While I grew up in his house, I did my best to stay out of his way. To this day he is a stranger to me.

I don’t have many memories or mementoes from my grandfather except for a 16 gauge Ithaca Model 37 shotgun. It had been stored for decades in the back of a cedar closet, making its way to me years after his death. It is a nondescript little shotgun, and with millions in production, it has no value or worth other than sentiment and nostalgia.

Surprisingly enough, it was the first gun that I ever duck hunted with. I was perched in the bow of a small Jon boat with the Model 37 resting across my lap. My cousin rowed us gently with the current as a drake Wood Duck flared from the wild rice further downstream. It was an old gun yet new to me, so too was duck hunting.

My cousin cautioned that the bird was too far out, I took the shot anyways. We were both surprised when that drake crumbled and disappeared into a raft of tall reeds near the shoreline. It took us some time, and a bit of bog stomping, but we found that very first duck.

Shortly there after, the Model 37 stopped working. A gunsmith diagnosed an internal failure and returned it to me more broken than before. Sadly, that Model 37 languished for decades passing from closets, to gun safes, and even spent a short stint as a wall hanger in my son’s bedroom.

Duck hunting isn’t new to me anymore, neither are shotguns. This winter I decided to disassemble that Model 37 and see if I could repair it. Upon closer inspection, I discovered the trigger assembly had worn down to the point of failure. It was a simple defect caused by time and excessive wear.

I can’t help but wonder if the same thing had happened to my Grandfather. Was his life so difficult that it just wore him down to the broken man I feared as a child? I can’t save that old man from his legacy, but I was able to save that old Model 37. And that’s worth something to me.

Over the River, and through the Woods.

 
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I woke this morning to the sounds of construction equipment. You could hear it tearing at the landscape relentlessly moving eastward through the State forest that surrounds us. It had been quiet the past few days, with crews on holiday, there was a momentary return to solace. A false sense of peace.

It was that solace that brought my family north almost a year ago to the day. Our journey to this place was not easy, it was expensive and labor intensive and it turned everything we knew upside down. But we had one singular goal, and that was for Karen, Charlie, and myself to live our most genuine lives.

A couple weeks back I stood on the shoreline of our small environmental lake, too small to be given a name by the DNR, but large enough to be remembered by the community that has grown up in this area. I watched with a sadness that I still do not understand as tree after tree disappeared from the not so distant horizon.

In truth, I am a carpet bagger to this community, an outsider that can never truly understand what it is to be born of this place. While I may always be that outsider, I have fallen in love so instantly, it is as if I have always been of these woods, so I will live here, and I will die here.

Hailed as a boon for Minnesota jobs, the Enbridge Line 3 project has brought thousands of out of state license plates to a community that has no means to protect itself from a global pandemic. Hailed as a replacement for an ailing pipeline, in actuality it is an expansion and horrible land grab for a multinational corporation with no ties to this State or to our Country.

We scoff at Native Americans when they claim betrayal, but that is what this project is. It is a betrayal of everything that we are and what we identify as Minnesota. Just remember, you were there and complacent when they rammed a fucking pipe full of tar sands oil underneath the mighty Mississippi.

The Unbelievable Power of Cocoa

 
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Before leaving the house for a morning hunt, I will often fill my thermos with coffee, and if Charlie is coming along, I will fill his thermos with Cocoa.  After all, it was Curious George who extolled the virtues and unbelievable powers of Cocoa, who am I to argue?  

In the early days, our morning hunts started with a familiar rhythm long before the coffee and cocoa was ready.  I would wake first, making my way through a dark bedroom so as not to wake Karen.  Sometimes I would forget my glasses, thus what was a perilous journey in the dark, quickly transitioned to ludicrous as Karen awoke and wished us well on our coming adventures.  

Once dressed, I would go to Charlie’s room to rouse him from a sound sleep.  My boy has always been a heavy sleepier and no matter how softly I’ve tried waking him, the result is always the same - some form of panic and confusion.  I can’t blame him, getting up that early to sit either in a cold boat or tree could be considered by many as a form of corporal punishment.

In those early days my little boy needed help getting dressed a kin to Randy from a Christmas Story. As we learned from Randy, the key to warmth is found in layers, copious amounts of layers.  Layers of course, add an algebraic quality to dressing and the skill required to avoid folds, lumps, and otherwise general discomfort is worthy of a merit badge. After many mornings honing my skills, I wove a tapestry of obscenity that as far as I know, is still hanging in space over Crosslake Minnesota. 

So here we are, the morning of yet another hunt.  It is far to early, though not as bad as years past due to the proximity of water - our back yard.  My little boy is taller than me now, and fortunately for both of us he is very good at waking and dressing himself.  Just the same, here I am readying yet another delicious thermos full of Cocoa. 

Windows

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The boat was set and my boy was tucked in his seat snoring away.  I glimpsed a loose chunk of camo at the front of my blind and was about to fix it when I was reminded that was Moose’s window.  

After years of hunting she had warn away a little opening to poke her face through and spy the sky and bog before us.  

She’s not here any more, but her memories sure are and so is her window. Right where it belongs.

Finding the Extraordinary

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The morning had been a struggle, what few birds had buzzed the rice had come in from the left when I was looking right, or in from the right when I was looking left. Rather than my decoy spread, they had opted for the safety of the reeds tucked tightly against the shoreline.

Tired of watching, I decided to make my own magic.

Jumping birds while pushing a boat can be tricky. Simple things like balance and coordination are not so simple with a rocking boat, and a motivated target. Nonetheless, I managed to drop a pair of Wood Ducks as they attempted to escape the protection of the reeds, both birds succumbing to my steel.

Bobbing in the open water, their white bellies made an easy mark for which to track. Turns out I wasn’t the only hunter who took notice. A giant Bald Eagle leapt from its White Pine perch, circling high above the further of my two fallen birds.

In spite of my verbal protest and hurried push pulling, the massive hunter dove effortlessly towards the water with its talons outstretched. With a quick splash, the realization of a bird lost, and feckless epitaph of expletives I watched in astonishment as it returned to the sky, my prize clutched firmly in its grasp.

I’ve experienced crazy in this bog, I've seen birds lost to the rice, but this was a first. What had been simple routine, quickly became something so completely unexpected, a reminder that when in the bog from time to time even the ordinary can become extraordinary.

A Perfect Day

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Charlie was scanning the stars above, not the easiest of tasks with a heavy coat, thick hood, and bulky life jacket. As we motored our little boat through the narrows he strained his head upward for another look, knowingly I asked, "Looking for Orion?” Over the whine of our outboard he replied, “Yeah, but I can’t find him.” I peered over my shoulder, confirming years of early autumn hunts spent under the watchful eye of our ancient hunter and replied, “He’s over here buddy, just to the right of the Moon.”

Orion has been my guide in the sky for years, when the weather was testy or the journey to the bog was long, I could always find my place when I knew I could find his. This unofficial open to the 2019 duck season was no different. The heat and storms of the day before had abated overnight with Summers sultry last gasp transforming into a crisp Fall chill that permeated the pre-dawn darkness making our breath visible on exhalation.

Exiting the smaller of the two lakes, I took a moment to clear vegetation from the prop. The motor sputtered dead, but with little effort she roared back to life and we made our across the lake. The stars twinkled brightly overhead and the sliver of moon that danced across the water, silhouetted the tree line before us, the contours of which I used to navigate through the blackness.

Reaching the rice, I cut the motor and made my way to the front of the boat with push pole in hand. The chill of the morning, the warmth of his gear, and the vibration of the boat, had all but lulled Charlie back to sleep. I slipped the push pole into the water, a pair of Swans and a small flock of Geese broke the silence, clearly distraught by our intrusion, taking to the air a short distance from our bow.

Our movement was slow but steady, I pushed from the left, and then from the right, finding my rhythm as we slipped deeper into the rice. Every once in a while the boat would gently clunk against a long fallen and forgotten timber, lost to time but forever apart of this place. We made our way to an open pocket of lily pads a stones through away from shore. The birds had been hugging this part of the bog the morning before and I hoped they would follow a similar path today.

With the decoys set in no particular order, I eased us into a taller patch of rice. The wind had died down a bit, still I opted to drop anchor, to keep us steady and maybe, just maybe, to claim this spot as my own. With an hour to legal shoot there was time for Charlie to keep sleeping, and there was time for me to listen. The random whistle of a wood duck, the familiar quack of a mama Mallard, and the distant clunk of decoys from other hunting parties added to the tranquility of the lake and reminded me of what I love most about this place.

As the hour drew to a close, the early morning light erased our starry vestige revealing a patchwork view of our decoys and the bog beyond. The few clucks and quacks that had welcomed us in the dark, had grown in intensity with the growing light. Early defectors took to the air, Mallards and Wood Ducks zigzagging to the sky with a rustle of wings.

It took a little coaxing but Charlie was awake and ready to go, I hadn’t needed any coaxing. A distant barrage of shotgun blasts from a different lake not unlike our own served as the starting bell for the days excitement! Only moments had passed before a single Woodie strayed to close to our spread, I shouldered “The Fudd” and with a single blast from its cartoonishly long barrels, dropped my quarry squarely in our decoys. With a resounding splash, Charlie leaned back and enthusiastically proclaimed, “nice shot!”

A short time later, a second Woodie crossed from my left and befell the same fate as the the first. “The Fudd”, a boorish side by side with thirty inch barrels, was proving herself to be potent ally in the bog!

With two Woodies in the bag of a 3 Woodie limit, I turned my attention to Charlie, anxious for him to connect. Charlie missed his first volley, but it didn’t take him long to find the kill zone. With a bevy of birds coming in from the right, I felt the pull of his gun and watched as his first duck of the season crumpled in the air and plummeted to the water below.

The next half hour was a wild ride of shooting and laughter for both the boy and I. The majority of our targets were flybys, fortunately for us, a Summer spent trap shooting from lawn chairs proved the perfect recipe for success! With seven birds down, one of which was a Mallard we pushed out to collect and tally our birds. Pushing the boat through the rice, Charlie and I managed to collect them all. That rarely happens, the bog almost always claims one as penance!

With all birds accounted for, we found that Charlie had taken a single Woodie and a pair of Mallards, giving us a little breathing room to keep the hunt alive. We had taken seven before seven, an opening day we had not experienced in years! I was typing a quick note to Karen, when a lone Woodie quartered in from my left. Charlie whispered, “Daddy, get it!”. I dropped my phone to the deck, raised “The Fudd”, and dropped our last duck of the day with a single resolute blast that echoed across the lake.

It was a good day. The boat and voyage to the rice was effortless, the birds were plentiful and in hand, and my boy was with me for all of it. For a hunter, and a father, there are no better days than this.

Seasons

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It all goes by so damn fast.

It feels like only a moment ago I was tilling the earth with the tiniest of green tractors; visions of a distant Fall and all of its adventures plying at my imagination.

Yet here I am, the Early Goose season has made way for Bow Hunting, and despite Mother Nature’s best drenching, this morning I hunkered down in my little boat amidst the wild rice and the wood ducks.

I may have even nabbed a limit if I do say so myself!

And so my time is no longer measured by days or weeks, but by the seasons that carry me forward. In the Spring I’m planting, in the Summer I’m crushing clays with my boy, and in the Fall and Winter all of these magical places speak to me in ways I could never put into words.

I am here now in the woods and more importantly in the moment. I cannot know what lurks just out of sight, but as my tree gently sways and the Aspen leaves rustle in the evening wind, I take solace knowing that I am in my season.

Whistle Pigz

Because the adventure is that much sweeter, when it is shared with the ones that you love.
— Matthew Goodenough

Goodnight Princess.

She stood up with a grace that we hadn’t seen in weeks and walked over to her pillow. Curling up into her old familiar position, the medicine erased the discomfort caused by her swelling.  With little effort her head hit the pillow and she fell into a deep sleep.  

Charlie had been sitting on the floor close to her, reaching over her body he laid his head upon her chest.  He was crying.  Karen was crying.  I was crying too because our Moose was dying.  It was time to say goodbye and none of us were ready for it.

The second injection was just as quick as the first, but this time instead of falling asleep, Moose's brain turned off and her heart stopped.  My son strained to listen to each final beat, as we all sat silent except for our tears. After a brief pause, he let us know that her heart was quiet.  She was gone, and in the silence I could not believe how quickly we had reached this moment.  

Weeks before she had been diagnosed with liver cancer, weeks before that, I had noticed she was bloated.  Never.  Never, could I have imagined that our grand lady was near her end or that she would fill so full of fluid that we would have to drain her regularly.  We did it three times - and she hated it each time.  The trip to the vet, the hand-off as they reached the back room.  

I’ve never known such genuine love from an animal until that moment when all ninety pounds of her would cower under my chair pleading for protection, begging for support.  In all of it I was powerless - I could barely understand what was going on let alone translate it in a manner that she could understand.

I’ve posted many things that are close to my heart - but I have had little appetite to share this news.  Moose was something special to us as a family and more so as my partner in the bog and blind.  I tried to keep her passing to myself but Facebook would not let it go - you never realize how many things you've shared with Facebook until their algorithm reminds you of those special moments. 

We shared a lot of special moments in the fall, and Facebook mercilessly shared each of them with me.

Her lose has made it difficult to blog this season - she was so much apart of me and the hunts that we shared together.  I've ignored writing this post, terrified of this post, because this was validation that I really had to say goodbye.  While I was chasing the ducks and the geese it simply did not feel right to let her go.

I understand that pets will pass - but we were not ready for Moose.  I'm still not ready, but with the season ending soon it’s time I find solace in the good, and share those amazing moments with you all (again).  I’ll readily admit this post has been aided by an empty belly and a full mug of brew, aptly named “Duck Pond”.

To my big dog with an even bigger heart - I raise my glass to you.  I will remember you in the crispness of an early fall morning, when I hear the rustling of wings flying overhead, and as the geese circle our decoys with wings cupped well below the brim.

Love you Princess.  Goodbye.

New and Familiar

It’s been years since I’ve had the opportunity to hunt this little pond.  Yet here we are minutes before legal shoot, and I’m surrounded by my friends and our history in the bog.  

And with the familiar there is the new. With a new boat and my boy hunting here for his first time - we get to share a laugh, a bite of doughnut, and make new memories of our time spent together.

Old Man Winter...

I should have known better, but the wind had been frigid and fierce all day - with only ten minutes of daylight remaining, my patience was tapped and I thought I might take a slow stroll through the pines back to the truck.  As I descended the ladder I thought I heard a noise from the woods directly behind me. Halting my descent, I held my breath and turned my head towards the woods catching a faint flash of white as it disappeared into the darkness.

I don't know if it was a deer or delirium - what I do know is that tomorrow my resolve will not be shaken by a little wind. 


Christening

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I’m not sure what makes an old man old. Maybe it’s physical or maybe it is something less tangible- closer to the soul.  What I do know is, I never want to be in the crosshairs of this old sonofabitch!

At Evening's Edge

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When his boots hit the ground, the freshly fallen snow betrayed his presence with a slight crunch under foot. Pivoting from the ladder to the towline dangling from the stand he quietly unlatched his rifle, slinging it over his shoulder as his Mama descended the ladder behind him.

It was nearly 6pm, cloudy, and dusk was just beginning to set in around them. Restless from a day of hunting and with a slight and persistent mist in the air, Charlie coaxed his Mama from the tree, "We should go sit on the power lines."  Given Charlie's growing inability to sit still and the resulting cacophony of sound emanating from the old plywood stand, his Mama happily obliged. 

The power lines bisect the northern part of the property, stretching over a half-mile long and almost two-thirds of a football field wide- the perfect vantage for a boy and a rifle. Together they crossed the open expanse traveling southward up a slight hill to a stand of fallen Pines.

Five minutes or so had passed since they had taken their perch, nearly an eternity when your eleven years old.  Charlie was looking to the right, while his Mama was scanning to the left when a deer emerged from the far side of the woods, "Charlie, there's a deer!", his Mama whispered enthusiastically.

Charlie raised his rifle finding that his scope had fogged over obstructing his view completely. Quickly cleaning the condensation away, Charlie shouldered his Mama's old rifle and waited patiently for the perfect opportunity.

As the deer made it's way across the open field it halted in mid-stride, staring directly at the unlikely duo at the edge of the Pines. Charlie didn't give his query time to think about it's predicament and pulled the trigger. A crisp shot echoed through the country side.  In a panic the deer lurched forward and began rushing directly at them!

Charlie quickly lowered his rifle as he rose to his feet, being a left-handed shooter with a right-handed bolt action can make the second shot a bit of a challenge. Following his grandpa's advice, Charlie aimed five feet in front of the approaching animal and when his scope filled with brown he fired a second time. 

The six point buck tumbled dead to the ground and with that, Charlie took his first deer from the land that we call Buckwood, penning his own chapter amidst the the Pines and the Popple. 


Thank You

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To Sir, 

I saw the listing for this property just a stones throw away from Pine River.  When I was a younger man, I would make the drive from Park Rapids to Crosslake each fall, passing by this property I don’t know how many times.

I’ve been chasing after whitetail and waterfowl for the better part of my adult life, and while a suburban boy from the metro isn’t the likeliest of hunters, each fall I call the woods and the bog my home away from home.  

When we first visited your property, I was immediately in love with all of it.  Given the care you have taken with your stands, the trails, and your trail signs I have to imagine that you loved this place too.  

While I have passion for hunting, I want you to understand that for my family and I a place like this means so much more.  It is about finding the better parts of ourselves and being able to share it with those that we love the most.  

I could not help but notice the trail signs that you named after people.  While I will never know their stories, I believe that a part of them as well as a part of you, will always be here in this hallowed place that my son has named Buckwood.  

As ownership passes from one family to the next, know that my son, my Father-in-law, and I promise to be humble stewards of these grounds as we make new stories, share in new adventures, and create our own legends of the fall.

With all my Love,
Matthew Goodenough


Closing time

I'm not sure why, but I neglected to snap a picture my last day out on the lake.  Charlie was tired, and opted to sleep in.  Moose on the other hand was eager to jump in the truck despite the cold and the light blanket of snow.  

It is amazing how quickly the golden sun of a beautiful afternoon can be transformed into the silver dull gray of early winter morning in the span of only a week.  But that is what happens in the woods - time does not stop, it may go by even faster out here.  But the time I spent here this season was truly remarkable. 

And scary.

I am not going to lie, our little "adventure" earlier this fall scared the hell out of me and reminded me of quickly things can go to shit.  There will be times when I start thinking about the "what if" and I can feel the fear creeping in.  Fortunately for us there was no "what if", there is only what's next?

The boat is put away and the lake is nearly frozen over, it is time for different adventures in different venues.

It is time for what's next.